You Are Ridiculous
by ohsnap its potter
Summary: Ron isn't exactly skilled when it comes to lady problems. How does he go about it? By forcing his best mate to become a woman... RWHG and slight HPGW. ONESHOT.


A/N: All these one-shots are just coming to me. Since I always write about James and Lily I decided to have a little try at Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny. This one is completely random, but I decided that Harry needed a bit of fun in his life... Anyways. Those reading my other stories, I'll update soon, for I am on an updating rage.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

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Ron paced back and forth inside of the Burrow. With each step, his brow would furrow even more. He had a certain person on his mind. A certain, _bushy _haired person. 

"Ron, stop pacing like that. You're making me dizzy." Harry ordered, peering at his red-haired friend over the top of his book.

"Sorry, Harry." Ron said, but he made no move to stop.

Harry rolled his eyes beneath his wire-rimmed spectacles and sighed, "What's the matter?"

"It's Hermione!" He sounded like he had been bursting to say it for weeks. "I…I like her, Harry."

Harry put on mock surprise, "Now, really, Ron? I had no idea…"

"Sod off, Harry." Ron groaned. It was the first time he had actually admitted it out loud, and it felt surprisingly good. The only problem was, he didn't know what to do. "I need your help."

Harry put his book down. He had been studying about horcruxes for a while now, and it was nice to have an excuse to put the darkness away for a while. "Well, I don't know what I can do to help. All I know is that you should tell her. It's no surprise that you like her to me, and I'm sure she won't be surprised either."

"But, Harry." Ron groaned. "I can't do that. I have to go about it the Hermione way..."

"And how's that?" Harry was interested. Ron really didn't know the best way to go about girl problems. Granted, neither did Harry. So the two of them together attempting to solve this probably wouldn't end well.

"I need to make her jealous." Ron determined, stopping his pacing.

"And how would you do that?" Harry had to bite his lip to prevent himself from sniggering. Ron didn't know what he was talking about. Making Hermione jealous was definitely _not_ the way to go around it.

"I need a girl…" Ron said, "To pretend to be in love with me. Trust me. In a moments time Hermione will be running to me with open arms."

"Glad you're so sure." Harry said, "But Ron…I'm not so sure that will work…"

"Of course it will." Ron dismissed, "Now, all I need is a girl…"

Harry's eyes widened as his friend looked at him slyly, "Why are you looking at me like that? No…no way…"

"Come on, Harry!" Ron pleaded, "Please! I can't do this without you."

"No." Harry yelped, picking his book back up, "I won't do it."

Ron sighed, "Okay."

Harry slowly set his book back down. It was getting rather tiring hearing the two of his friends bicker all the time, especially when they both had feelings for each other. Both Ron and Hermione wanted to come with Harry to help find the parts of Voldemort's soul. He ran his hand through his hair. It was the least he could do, helping Ron, and soon he made up his mind. Actually, as much as he acted as though this was a burden, he was incredibly grateful for an opportunity to stop thinking about Voldemort.

Harry raised his eyebrows, he was glad for the chance to be normal, to play matchmaker, to not have to worry about the lives of everyone.

"What do I have to do?" He asked.

Ron grinned, "Thanks, mate. I knew you'd pull through. Okay…I need you to become a woman."

Harry's mouth dropped, so much for a chance to be normal. "Excuse me?"

"C'mon Harry, all you have to do is dress like a girl and act like one. Then Hermione will get jealous."

Harry ran a hand through his untamed hair, "You're ridiculous, you know that?"

---

A few hours later Harry was seated at the table, clad in a summery dress that belonged to Ginny. It was a bit small for him, and he couldn't really breathe all that well. He and Ron had quickly researched spells to make hair longer, and soon he had long hair that drifted to the middle of his back. He knew he shouldn't have had Ron do the spell, for his hair was no longer a dark brown, but now a metallic blonde.

"Stop fidgeting," Ron pleaded, "I hear footsteps."

Harry had applied make-up as best he could, and he hoped no one would notice who he really was.

"Hey, Ron!" Hermione sang, skipping down the stairs and emerging into the kitchen. She caught sight of the blonde hair and narrowed her eyes. "Whose this?"

"This is Brianca." Ron said, puffing out his chest.

"Hello, Brianca." Hermione said, her eyes becoming tiny slits.

Harry didn't dare turn around; he just nodded and said, "Hi." In a strangely high pitched voice.

"What's she doing here?" Hermione asked Ron, her voice itching with anger.

Ron shrugged, "Why does it matter?"

Hermione opened her mouth, before closing it again. She hissed angrily, before turning around and stomping away.

"It worked!" Ron said excitedly. "She bought it!"

Harry sighed, "Ron you are such a prat. Why can't you just tell her?"

"I told you." Ron said, "Hermione's mind doesn't work like that."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Okay, she's jealous. Can I get out of this skin tight dress now?"

Ron sighed, "I suppose."

Harry stood up in relief when he felt a hand roughly shove him back down, "Do you see what I see?" Ron hissed.

Harry looked up to see Hermione holding hands with a boy, a smug look on her face.

"Who is that?" Ron asked, his face red with anger.

"Why does it matter?" Hermione asked in a falsely sweet voice.

Ron clenched his fists together as Hermione stalked away.

"Plan backfired, eh?" Harry laughed, beginning to walk towards the stairs.

"Harry!" Ron said, standing up and grabbing his friend by the shoulders. "Please. You have to stay a woman for a little longer."

Harry shook his head, "Like I said; you are ridiculous."

Ron shook Harry, "Please, Harry! Just long enough until I find out who that boy is, and where he's from."

"Ron, my hair is long, this dress is itchy, I'm wearing MAKE-UP. I have no idea how you talked me into this, but it's not going to go on any longer." He said firmly, untangling himself from Ron's firm grip. He began walking up the stairs before he caught a glimpse of the boy that was with Hermione. He veered off and scurried towards him. "Um…hello?"

The boy swung around, and it was then that they both almost fell over in shock. "_Harry_?"

It was Ginny. "W-what…?" Harry began.

"Why are you in my dress?" She looked like she wanted to laugh.

Harry shrugged, before his eyes widened. "Why are you in my shirt...a-and _pants_?"

Ginny was clad in Harry's plaid button up shirt, and she had her hair pulled up and put under a hat. She was wearing pants that were far too long and big for her, and yet, Harry couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was.

"Oh, I um…" She broke off, "Ron made you, didn't he?" Harry nodded and she continued, "Thought so. Hermione made me, too."

"Where's Hermione now?"

"Probably brewing up another way to get back at Ron." Ginny said, grabbing him by the elbow and pulling him into a corner, "Harry. They're never going to get together on their own. Ron's too daft and Hermione too shy."

"What are you sayin-" Ginny pulled his elbow harder, dragging him to the first step.

"We have to keep this quiet." She hissed.

Harry nodded, "What do you suggest we do?"

"Well…" Ginny looked thoughtful, "I think we should pretend to get together. It would confuse them, because Hermione would think I'm with another girl, and Ron would think you're with another boy…"

"Then they'd blow their cover." Harry said, "And be bound to tell each other their feelings."

"Hopefully." Ginny said, "But it's the best plan we've got."

"There you are Harr – er…Brianca!" Ron exclaimed, jogging over to them.

"Quick, Harry!" Ginny said under her breath, "Kiss me!"

"What!" He could feel his heart thumping loudly, and suddenly a large lump rose in his throat.

Ginny grabbed his head and brought his lips onto hers. Harry blanked, it was the most wonderful feeling, and soon natural instincts took over and he wrapped his arms around her waist. How did he ever let her go? This kiss was speaking for them selves; how they missed each other, how they needed each other…

"HARRY POTTER WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT BOY!"

Harry pulled back as if stung, but the tingling sensation of her lips on his was still there as strong as ever. "Oh… I um…"

"RONALD WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING!" Hermione shrieked, sprinting down the stairs to find Ron looking at the two holding hands in horror.

"YOU'RE SCREAMING, TOO!" He shouted.

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE!" She countered, before she suddenly broke off and her eyes widened, "_Ginny?_ Were you just kissing Brianca?"

"Wait…" Ron began, "That's Ginny?"

Hermione blushed but looked determined, "You're ridiculous Ronald. None of this would have happened if you hadn't brought that…THING here."

"Excuse me?" Harry asked, somewhat hurt.

"_I'm_ ridiculous?" Ron cried, "You were the one who dressed up my sister to look like a MAN!"

"Well…" Hermione blushed even more, before she turned to Harry, "Who are you?"

"It's me, Hermione." Harry said, readjusting his spectacles that he had kept on. He wondered faintly how those didn't give him away, "Harry Potter."

"YOU _ARE_ RIDICULOUS." Hermione cried to Ron, placing her hands on her hips, "I cannot believe you!"

"Well I…" It was now Ron's turn to blush, "I had to figure out a way to…well…you know…"

"No I don't." Hermione said briskly, "Explain."

"I had to make you jealous." Ron said quietly.

"WHY!" She yelled,

"Because…BECAUSE I LIKE YOU!" He was panting, his face red, but his figure firm.

"Y-you…what?" She mumbled.

"'Mione you are ridiculous." Ron said, smiling slightly, "If you hadn't figured that out by now then I have no idea why they call you the 'brightest witch of your age.'"

Hermione wrung her hands together, "Oh, Ron…I can't believe you finally admitted it. I mean…I always thought you'd be the daft boy who ignores his feelings and-"

Ron narrowed his eyes, "Thanks." He said sourly.

"Oh stuff it!" Hermione giggled, "I like you too, Ronald!"

"_Oh...Cute!_" Ginny said sarcastically, "It took them seven years of knowing each other and now they finally admitted it."

"Sod off." Ron growled.

Harry and Ginny laughed, "Well, we'll see you love birds later…our work here is done…"

Harry and Ginny glanced at each other. It was rather awkward, for it looked like they were looking at the same sex that they were. Harry grinned as Ginny took out her wand and changed his hair back to normal, and then put a cleaning spell on his face to clean off the make-up. 

They walked up the stairs, and when they finally reached the top they began laughing uproariously.

"Did…you see…how red…they were?" Harry howled.

"I saw how red you were." Ginny said quietly, and Harry could feel himself go red _again_.

"What are you talking about?"

"Please, Harry." Ginny said, "I…I know what you are trying to do. And maybe that's the way it has to be. But why let him take over your whole life?"

Harry knew by "him," she meant Voldemort. "Gin…we've been over this. He hasn't been taking over my whole life."

Ginny stomped her foot, "Harry! You are ridiculous. I can see right through you. This is the first time in weeks I've seen you truly smile. I know what you have to do but that's in the future. Please…just live in the present with me. Just hold me."

Harry bit the inside of his cheek; she never ceased to amaze him. He reached forward, ignoring the fact that he was in her clothes and she in his, and took her hat off. Her hair fell about her shoulders and she smiled, her cheeks glowing.

---

Meanwhile, out in the garden, Ron and Hermione were seated a fair distance away from each other, watching the gnomes. Finally Ron turned to her, figuring since they both liked each other, he should say a compliment.

"So…" Ron began awkwardly, "I like your hair…it's very…big…"

Hermione rolled her eyes and tore her eyes away from a gnome, "Ronald. This is awkward, and I don't want it to be."

He nodded, "Well I…it's just…you know…"

She poked a gnome gently, "Ron. I like you, but if us being together is going to ruin our friendship…"

"You know what could break the ice?" Ron asked, but the tips of his ears were red.

"Hmm?"

"A…well…a kiss." He kept his eyes down, and pretended to be studying a gnome very intently.

"Ron." She said softly, "I'm scared about going with Harry, but I'm going, and I know you are, too. We don't know what's going to happen to us and…I want to live life to it's fullest."

"Little Hermione's going to step outside the box?" Ron said tauntingly.

She smacked his arm. "Well…I would like to kiss you, too."

He stared into her eyes and they scooted towards each other until finally their noses were almost touching. Hermione bit her lip and they leaned in at the same time.

Ron suddenly felt extremely light; he had been waiting for this for so long, and he couldn't believe it was finally happening.

When they broke apart all Hermione could mumble was, "Wow."

The red head before her grinned, "That did break the ice, because now…I'm not afraid to tell you...that was amazing and I want to do it again!"

Hermione laughed, "You are ridiculous."

"Same to you," Ron said, already leaning towards her again, "But that's one of the reasons I fell for you. That and your hair…"

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A/N: Yay for fluff! I hope you liked it, and tell me if you like seeing these random one-shots, or if you don't. I like writing them however, and I sincerely hope you enjoy reading them. Please read and review! Thanks and love you all - Lilly.  



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